It was another bad night for mom. It's so hard to have patience when she wants to get up at 11:45, 12:30, 1:15; 2:30 and 5:40. Give me a break, I want to sleep, I deal with her all day, I need my peace at night. So far we have been lucky, but this is twice now in 2 weeks. I hope this is not going to be a pattern. If it happens again I will need to call and talk to the doctor.
I look at my mom and realize time is short, part of me wants my life back so bad and the other part isn't ready to let go just yet. I hate to see my mom like this, this is not the woman I know, the woman who I grew up with. This woman I have living in my house is frail, weak and sad. The rain has made things worse, she gets depressed, she cries alot. I find myself watching her when she sleeps to make sure she is breathing. I am afraid I will look over one day and she will have stopped breathing without me know it. So many conflicting emotions, I am tired, not just physically, but mentally.
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A daily journey on the stuggles of taking care of (caretaking issues) a parent and children at the same time. The stress both physical and mental that comes with caring for a parent and a family.
1 comment:
I know you're not likely to come back and read this so I'm not keeping track to find it again, looking for a reply. I am 50+ and looking after my Mother. It is very stressful, very much giving up your life, or feeling that way. You aren't alone in those feelings. I often think of the women who stayed with their Mother all their lives and then suddenly found themselves alone, with nothing really. Always having to be at the mercy of others. I don't have a husband, or children. One day I will just be alone and have no one to look after but myself and no one to look after me. It isn't a far trip from nothing to just slipping into the end of life. Kind of nice to write about it somewhere no one is likely to ever find it.
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