I’m 43 years old and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I know that I am tired of my life and there are days that running away sounds so good. You see I care full time for my mom. She had a stroke in October of 2001 and she is paralyzed on her right side and doesn’t speak. That’s not a 100% true, she can say yes and no when she wants or gets mad enough. My mother was only 56 when she had her stroke.

We had just moved to Sacramento that January and my mom had just bought her house that June. She was so excited to have her housed paid for and could now enjoy life. But, that was not what was going to happen. Someone in the grand scheme of things asked how many lives can be messed up with this one action. Can we say many? I never expected to be caring for my mother at 35, yet alone 7 years later.

My husband jokes that I get to stay home, what woman or man for that matter wouldn’t like to have that opportunity? Me, can I say me? I don’t want to stay home, I want a life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but sometimes I can’t see the tree’s for the forest. It weighs down on me without letting up. I would love to find others like myself who are younger and caring for a parent, but most people are caring for “elderly” parents who are still mobile. There is a big difference in taking care of someone who can speak, walk and do something’s for themselves. We don’t take family vacations because my mom is very limited to what she can do and how long she can be in the car or her wheelchair. Since she has lost so much weight her ability to sit for any length of time is limited so this also dictates what we can do for even short little excursions.