It was another bad night for mom. It's so hard to have patience when she wants to get up at 11:45, 12:30, 1:15; 2:30 and 5:40. Give me a break, I want to sleep, I deal with her all day, I need my peace at night. So far we have been lucky, but this is twice now in 2 weeks. I hope this is not going to be a pattern. If it happens again I will need to call and talk to the doctor.

I look at my mom and realize time is short, part of me wants my life back so bad and the other part isn't ready to let go just yet. I hate to see my mom like this, this is not the woman I know, the woman who I grew up with. This woman I have living in my house is frail, weak and sad. The rain has made things worse, she gets depressed, she cries alot. I find myself watching her when she sleeps to make sure she is breathing. I am afraid I will look over one day and she will have stopped breathing without me know it. So many conflicting emotions, I am tired, not just physically, but mentally.